


Orange is the New Act

by Nerdy_glasses



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Charles Always Says the Absolute Worst Thing He Could Possibly Say, Crack, Erik is a Troll, Fluff and Humor, Honestly Charles What Are You Thinking, M/M, and he brags A LOT, discussion of sexual position(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7358470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdy_glasses/pseuds/Nerdy_glasses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charles is very knowledgeable in bed and proud of it. But now he might be regretting bragging so much about his prowess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Orange is the New Act

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on tumblr.  
> Prompt by butterynutjob. (check out her fics while if possible, by the way.)

It was a lazy saturday morning, Charles and Erik were making out in the bed. The opportunity was well earned after the long, tiring week they had had.

Charles was sure that the making out would proceed into something more in the near future, but this was nice too. They rarely got the time to just laze around nowadays. Now Erik was kissing _that_ spot just behind his ear and nothing could be more perfect.

Charles might or might not have whimpered when Erik stopped. But then he looked at his boyfriend and he looked so.. _tentative._

“Actually _Liebchen_ , I wanted to try something new today.. in bed, I mean,” he said, a little nervously.

In hindsight Charles should have realised something was up right then; Erik was hardly a tentative person.

But this version of Erik was _adorable_. So instead he only asked what he wanted to try.

“Um.. I know that you’re more experienced than I am in these things..and.. ugh.. you are also more knowledgeable than me,” Erik cleared his throat and continued, “So… um.. you know.. I thought I should put in some effort and gather some information.” He smiled sheepishly.

“Okay darling. What did you find?” Charles asked supportively while stroking Erik’s hair.

“Well I’m pretty sure you know all about it, but I found this thing. It’s uh.. it’s called ‘The Orange Popsicle.’ I mean I thought it was something new, but you probably know all about it don’t you?”

Charles knew nothing about it. He opened his mouth to say so but Erik continued, “ I mean who am I kidding! Of course you know! Just the other day you were saying that there isn’t an act or position in the world that you don’t know of!”

Now Erik was looking at him adoringly and damn, it was hard on Charles’ ego to admit he didn’t know something. And he _had_ proclaimed that.

He gave Erik a smile all the while mentally berating himself for opening his big mouth.

“So.. wanna try it out?” Erik asked hopefully.

“Um, sure!”, Charles was getting nervous now. He clearly had no idea what this was, but he was a Xavier and Xaviers didn’t back down from such simple little problems! Besides he was a certified genius and was rather experienced. He could surely improvise something on the way.

So he asked Erik, “But love, the thing is, there are actually quite a lot if variations of this particular technique. So if you could tell me just what you read about.. Just so we’re on the same page, you know!”

“Oh! of course I’ll tell you! But which one do you know? Why don’t you tell me first?”

‘Well shit!’ Charles thought. With Erik looking at him like _that_ he had no chance of denying him anything.

Loudly he said, “ Well I think it was rather silly. I mean the one I knew of required..um.. getting dressed up as ..as.. Orange.. Popsicles!”, he finished intelligently.

 ‘Well done You!,’ he thought,’now Erik will find this whole thing ridiculous and hopefully forget about it.’

But no such luck. “That sounds kind of ridiculous Charles, and not very sexy. But don’t worry! That is only one version of the act! The rest is quite fun!”

‘Oops’, thought Charles. Still, he had a role to play.

“Oh? And is the next version what I think it is?”

“Oh yes! It’s really fun! Basically you rub Orange flavoured Popsicles all over each other’s bodies..and that means _all_ over, of course. Preferably till our skins get an orangish tint!”

“That sounds..um…wonderful! But won’t that be a _little_ bit sticky? And _cold_? To certain parts, I mean.”

“That’s the fun you know? But why are you asking questions like that? That makes it sound like you’ve only heard of this right now. That’s clearly not true, right?” Erik frowned.

“Of course not! It’s just that the version I was thinking included using an orange flavoured condom, that’s all.” Now Charles was spouting the first things that came to his mind. “And won’t that require a lot of popsicles? We should have prepared for this in advance.”

“Oh but I have Charles! I bought some orange flavoured popsicles yesterday when I was coming home. In fact I’ll bring them from the fridge right way! Meanwhile, you can strip and go wait in the bathroom so we won’t make the sheets too sticky.” Erik got out of the bed and went in the direction of the kitchen.

“Okay, love. You really have thought of everything!,” Charles was well and truly trapped now. But he didn’t have a choice.

So he stripped, went into their bathroom and sat on the toilet lid waiting for Erik. He was back in less than a minute carrying a large plastic bag containing _popsicles_.

“Um.. that looks a large number, Erik. How many did you buy again?”

“A dozen”, was the smug reply, “I didn’t want to seem unprepared, you know!”

“Yeah? That’s .. great, of course! Shall we..um..get started then? How about you go first?” ‘Nice save, Xavier!’,he was thinking.

“That’s great! I would love to rub the popsicle all over you till you’re all sticky and orange-y! But I was kind of hoping that you’ll give me a demo first.”

“Demo? You mean you want me to rub it over you? Don’t worry! We can do you first!”, Charles let out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, not me! I meant demonstrate on yourself.. so I would get it right,”

The relief was short lived. And _damn_  - Erik was giving him that shy, tentative look again. He never could resist it.

“Okay,” Charles gulped.

He hesitantly tore open one pack and took out the popsicle. He started rubbing it along his back in a slow motion - kind of like using a loofah _real_ slowly.

“Oh,” Erik was looking at him with wide eyes. “Actually I like watching you more! Would you do your arms too?”

Charles sighed and started with the arms. It was getting sticky pretty quickly.  “Here have another one. We have plenty,” Erik handed him another popsicle.

“Now do your front! Come on!” Erik really was getting excited. 

“The things I do for love,” Charles muttered and started rubbing _another_  popsicle on his chest. 

Erik was grinning at him, eyes twinkling and all. He looked happy and smug.

In fact he looked _too_ happy; and were those snickers he was hearing?

Charles stopped his action at once, and glared at Erik who had given up on hiding his laugh and was full out giggling now, “Bloody hell! You think this is funny? Me embarrassing myself like this is funny to you? I’m doing this for you, you twat!”

Erik paused laughing long enough to wipe tears from his eyes and panted,”Oh Charles! But you’ve gotten yourself into this!”

“Huh?”

“You should have thought better before issuing a challenge that you knew every sexual act and position on earth. So I decided to take advantage of that and prank you a little, that all.”

“What! So all this.. this.. this was for your _fun_?”, Charles was imitating a goldfish right now (what with opening and closing his mouth and the orange tint on his arms).

“Yeah.. It’s always fun to watch you pretending to know something when you’re actually clueless,” Erik grinned.

Charles needed to sit down.

“But I guess I don’t really win the challenge. Since nothing like The Orange Popsicle act exists.”

“I knew it, I knew it! Why the hell would anyone do something so stupid and ridiculous? When there’s perfectly manageable body paint available! And I still win!”

“Yeah..I guess you do Charles! In fact we should celebrate with something sweet..”

“Okay.. what did you have in mind?”

“Well, we still have a lot of these popsicles remaining.. so we could eat those..”

Charles threw them at him with great accuracy. One almost poked Erik in the eye. “If you think I’m ever going near anything orange flavoured, then you’re greatly mistaken.” Charles glared.

“Or.. I could lick the ones on you..”, Erik crowded him with a sultry smile.

“Huh”, Charles grumbled.

Now _that_ sounded like a slightly better alternative.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this one. All comments are welcome! :)
> 
> Also check out my tumblr if you feel like it (I'm nerdyglassesposts.tumblr.com) - where I post small ficlets and reblog cherik stuff.


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